In mending fences with an ex partner, the first month after the break-up is critical. Communication during this time must be handled with great care or it can all go horribly wrong.

When the heat of the bust-up has cooled, one partner may want to re-establish contact. But if the other is sulking or wants to inflict hurt they probably won't return calls. Or, if the person who's keen on getting the ex back uses the wrong tone when calling or leaving messages then they will drive the other further away.

So is there a "magic formula" to get my ex to return my calls? Well YES - surprisingly - there is.
You can use and combine two VERY powerful human motivators to obtain the result you want.

They are:
1) Curiosity
2) Self-interest

BUT - like the magic in fairy tales, this comes with a strong warning. You must only use the formula as part of an overall strategy to get the ex back or it won't work and, even worse, could sabotage your chances of ever making up.

And before learning how to use the magic words, you must understand what NOT to say when contacting your ex after a bust-up.

You must not beg - for example, "Please please call back Allan, this is my third call. HAVE to talk to you." And never pretend there's some kind of crisis when there isn't. "Jen - it's an emergency. You have to call when you get this, please!"

OK, now let's see how to apply the formula. If you call and leave a message like the one below in a friendly calm tone, it works nearly every time as part of a strategy to get the ex back!

"Hi Allan, it's Jen. I wanted to tell you I'm really grateful for what you did for me. Do give me a call as I'd like to thank you in person."

Allan will find this message intriguing and irresistible. His curiosity will be aroused and his ego flattered. It will give him a positive vibe and he will return the call.

When he does, Jen must be ready to say whatever it is she is thanking Allan for. It can be a small thing but it must be plausible and the tone of the conversation must be light and pleasant. Jen must sound as if she has been thinking things over and has reached a balanced state of mind. This will earn Allan's respect and make him want to reopen dialogue.

But to go back to the warning - you must only use this as part of an overall plan to get the ex back. The magic formula will only work if you do the right things before and after you make that call.

How do you make an effective action plan? Not a problem - powerful proven strategies to help couples reunite are available on line. Choosing one of these can provide all you need to get your relationship back on track.