Game Plan For Dealing With Vocal, Tithe-Paying, Change-Resistant Older People

In my work as a Growth Consultant I consistently deal with churches that possess a rich history and the potential for a very bright future. However, that very history with church members over age 60 (plus or minus) regularly works against the church's bright future. "If we could just do it like we did in the 70s or 80s, it would work. Why do we have to do it this new way that you, the lead pastor who was born in 1975, want to do? Why do we have to change anything? I like my church just the way it is."

I ask every reader to be clear on these components of this article:

- I was born in 1954 so I am not a spring chicken just yanging about old people. In fact, I happen to hold in high esteem those who have walked life's road ahead of me.

- This article IS about dealing with older people who resist change, are vocal about it and sometimes use their financially giving to the church as leverage to get their way. Since their way is generally not about change, the pastor who wants to see lost people come to know Jesus and feels the church needs to change for that to happen, will have to address the actions of this oftentimes minority group of older folks. Remember, they are vocal.

- This article IS NOT about dealing with older people in general. If you read it that way, you have read it wrong. Many of our seasoned saints want to see young people come to know Jesus, and although all of your changes may not be their style, they understand mission and will stand with you.

I literally had one client tell me that an older gentleman told the pastor that if the pastor did not start wearing a tie on Sunday that this older gentleman was going to leave the church along with his tithes. When I heard this, the great proverb (I'm sure it's there someplace) came to mind, "Don't let the door hit you..." I resisted suggesting that to the pastor. My guess is that he already had the thought.

Here is a game plan for your consideration. I implore you to read with spiritual eyes. I ask you to pray for God's specific direction for your church. For some this issue has been excruciatingly difficult. You see the potential for the church but the barriers of vocal, tithe-paying, change-resistant older people seem impenetrable.

PRE-CHANGE

1. PRAY. If you look at this first step as a "Yeah, yeah, we do that" and do not give credence to the seriousness of sustained, intentional and fervent prayer you need not read any further. Do this change thing without prayer and I can assure you the church will be upside down quickly. It is critical that you have the mind of the Lord before you take any steps in moving your church to a point of change. This time of prayer is not an extended devotional time nor is it a weekend away. It is long-term prayer. If you sense that God is taking you a direction reaching a new generation you must do all you can to be assured in your heart that it is in fact God, not just the latest and greatest new thing in how to grow a church. Then do all you can to communicate this to everyone, specifically your older people.

2. Prepare. Once you have the clear sense that God is moving you into and through an era of change in the church you must prepare to be successful in this venture. It's all in the preparation. Think through as many eventualities as possible. Do all you can to involve at appropriate levels those older people who can be helpful and influential in the change. In that preparation, however, you must direct its course. You should not prepare for change by group consensus. Preparation does not mean you have an inflexible plan. Rather it is quite the opposite, meaning you think through all possibilities.

3. Talk to the influencers. Whenever possible, well before the season of change is set in motion, do all you can to develop relational capital with the influencers in your older population. Help those influencers tune into the mission of the church, to reach those who do not know the Lord. Help them learn that the church is not about those inside the four walls, rather those outside. Do all you can to merit their trust. Talk to them about that which matters to God, people who are far from Him. Help them understand that the people most likely to make a life-transforming decision to accept Jesus are the folks under age 40 and even more so under age 25. Talk to them about some of their grandchildren who, sadly, many of them have strayed from the faith or never had a real encounter with Him. What would attract their grandchildren? Is it grandpa's suite and tie and hymns?

4. Clarify the church's mission. Many in the American church have lost sight of our Matthew 28:19 and Luke 19:10 reason for being. Without that understanding there really is no reason for change. Many churches' activities point to a mission that is nice but is nowhere near our mandate from Jesus. In most cases churches are comfortable and most people including older people enjoy comfort. Our mission is not comfort. You should teach and preach on mission well ahead of any major change to reach more people with the Gospel. Then while in the midst of change continue the same.

5. Count the financial cost. Once change begins you will have naysayers pointing out the flaws of your direction. Some of the older folks will become vocal. Sadly, there are examples of these same folks threatening the church with their giving. They stand accountable before God for that. In the meantime, you need to understand that your efforts to reach lost people could cost you in giving from some of the vocal, tithe-paying, change-resistant older people. You hope that to not be the case, but as the leader you need to calculate what that could be. Begin to formulate how the church's budget would need to adjust if that occurred.

6. Count the emotion cost. As difficult it is to imagine, some of your finest supporters in the early days of your ministry at this church were some of the older people. Now, however, with the changes you are undertaking, there will be some of those same people that will stand diametrically opposed to you. No matter how tough you are, the pain will be felt. Your family may experience this as well. You must know your own emotions and be confident that the direction God has given you is the right one for the church. During the times of severe resistance you will need to cling to that confidence.

7. Create multiple venues for older people to work in ministry together with younger people. This will take you further than any intellectual argument. Even though the generations are 40 to 60 years apart, the more older people are able to interact with younger folks the better. Please know that in some cases, the older folks may be resistant to this because they are comfortable with the older group they have been with for over 40 years. It is your job as the senior leader to cast vision and excitement to cross-generational ministry that all parties come to see its value.

8. Explain everything. There are not many things worse for a long-term church member than for an eager young pastor who takes a hard right turn and change everything without explaining "Why." So don't do that. Explain everything. Certainly there are very good reasons why you are changing music, attire, whatever you are changing, etc. You will forgo many headaches by taking the time to explain "Why." People, old and young, like to know "Why." Make sure your "Why" always ties to mission.

DURING CHANGE

9. Accept the departures. Never go into a period of change looking for a fight. At the same time, you must understand that there will be some change-resistant older people who will not make the trip with you. Every pastor hates this thought. Change will be slowed dramatically if your entire focus is on keeping everyone. You must be willing to lose people in changing the church to reach lost people. If you are unwilling to lose those resistant to the changes you received from God during your extensive time in prayer, then you need to go back to prayer and start the process over again. Departures will occur. Be kind and loving when they occur but stay the course.

10. Do not capitulate. Everything within you will want to capitulate on one level or another to a change-resistant demand. Do not allow this to happen. Once you are clear on direction, do not give way to those who would seek to distract the direction God gave you. This does not mean you have to be a dictator. It does mean that leadership demands a confidence in direction and you must possess that. When the change-resistant folks want you to compromise you should do two things: be kind and be confident in your direction. Remember your mission. Capitulation devalues mission.

11. Stay the course. This process will never take only weeks. It will take months and years to fully implement. You made a choice during your intense time of prayer at the beginning. You decided that the pain of not reaching those far from God was greater than the pain of being at odds with vocal, tithe-paying, change-resistant older people. With that noted, you must be faithful to His call on your life to lead your church. Make the changes necessary. Be faithful. Stay the course.

At the end of the day you will stand before God and give account for what you did at the church where you were assigned. As noble are the causes of appreciating heritage, honoring our elders and learning from history, so much more is the cause of presenting Jesus to those who do not know him. Whether the older people were able to keep whatever events or schedules they had enjoyed for the previous years or keep their dress code and music will not matter. Whether unchurched John or Mary from down the block have a life-changing encounter with the living God will matter.

Pray, prepare and talk to influencers in your older population. Be clear on your mission to reach the lost. Count the financial and emotional cost. Blend both young and old in ministry areas. Accept departures of long-time members. Do not capitulate and certainly stay the course. When you do, the great church you are privileged to serve will grow. You must acknowledge Jesus' desire to seek and to save what was lost and His command to go and make disciples of all nations. His mandate is clear. Our change to allow that to happen should be just as clear along with the spiritual resolve to see it through.

Dick Hardy is author of the book 27 TOUGH QUESTIONS PASTORS ASK. He is the Founder and President of The Hardy Group, an Executive Consulting firm for senior pastors of churches. Everything but preaching is his theme. Dealing with the stuff that keeps you up at night is his focus.

Dick brings a wealth of experience to the table for pastors when dealing with the tough issues of the church relative to growth, organization, leadership, administration, and change. His service as Administrative Pastor at two mega churches and as Vice President at a flagship denominational Bible college makes him a resource your church will want to retain. Dick is also available to serve as a speaker on this subject and many more.

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