Just the other day I had an unusual experience. I bought a slice of pizza and the person glanced at me and put another slice on top with a smile. No conditions, no comments, no charge, just a smile. Now I know this might not be so exciting for you but it reminded me of the warm fuzzy feeling I used to get when I went to the bakery and they put in an extra roll or the extra sausage at the butcher's shop.

That must have been a long time ago considering I've been a vegetarian for many years now. Yet there it was. A distinct feeling of being appreciated, spontaneously met, not part of a pre-determined qualification process deserving a better seat on the plane or filling up a punch card for a cup of coffee.

We are fascinated by "free" and a whole industry exists around "free" things from subscriptions, trials, gifts, even free money. It has become a budget item, a line item in the tax return. Yet nothing like these gifts to leave a feeling of disappointment and a taste of deception once redeemed. As opposed to the second pizza slice with a smile!

What I'm getting at is that while we all know that there is no such thing as "a free lunch", freebies have become sterile, calculated and limited, contrived, budgeted and outright manipulative. They are part of the markup. You pay this, you get that many points. You buy these many, you get that many free. You get this, we give you that. Come on. What a joke.

So while our psyche wrestles with the persuasive assault, our mind knows we're being taken for a ride and our heart hopes that maybe, just maybe, somewhere there is that someone who appreciates us.

Buy five massages get one free? Talk about antiquity. I jolly well expect to get a break if I buy a series of treatments. I am, after all, saving you a lot quite a bit of hassle and now less money. Don't take me for a ride with the "free" massage.

I want that feeling in my belly that says: "Ooh you really appreciate me" and so out of the blue you're giving me something special. I guarantee you, I will return until my days end and every time I will remember that feeling special. And not only that. I'll send you all my friends and family and even make an effort to lure that person in who is browsing the menu at the door.

That warm fuzzy feeling translates directly into loyalty and patronizing the person or business.

The greatest gift one can expect at a spa nowadays are maybe some samples that a spa has wrenched from their vendor. Or maybe even leftovers from the hapless pitch of some vendor vying for an account. Well, handing out something you already got for free is not really that generous is it? Blablable blabla bla ble and get a free gift..... for a limited time only. What a foul trick.

And as if it's not bad enough that we're pretending to give something away, the time we allot our clients is just as tightly regulated. No time for a conversation with the therapist that (who knows?) could lead to a longer treatment, an additional technique and a deeper rapport with the client leading to a better experience - and no time after the treatment to talk to the client who might book another treatment, purchase some retail items or refer a friend.

Massages are done on the minute and to add insult to injury, often done in 50-minute intervals ... what was the reason for that again??? Oh right so we can squeeze as many clients as possible into a shift.

So here's my appeal. Let's get back to authentic giving: Throw in something you paid for or spent some time tracking down, something you value too and you know your client will value. Something with a personal meaning.

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
Winston Churchill

Give your client the gift of time to have an authentic conversation with your staff or with your rather than encouraging them to leave as fast as possible and you will receive ample return.

Now, I'm not talking about faking it by fooling people into thinking they are getting something for free. I mean the real thing. A gesture like paying the bridge toll for the random person behind you who you never will see (probably) or putting in a chocolate bar with your grocery purchase.

Don't max yourself out by exploiting your "giveaway" budget to its limits. Empower yourself and your colleagues to follow an impulse and be authentic. In the end you'll be surprised how little it takes. The small things will matter. Not trying to make people like you. Just unconditional giving of a smile, a gift or some of your time.

Good Luck.