You can find many articles and books that address the signs of infidelity. For example, your boyfriend or spouse may act out of character in his treatment of you. Typically, he will be distant and withdrawn and withhold emotional support. Gone is the carefree laughter and the playful teasing.

However, some personalities broadcast danger signs in exactly the opposite way. Where the relationship had kind of settled into a comfortable way of relating, you now find he is acts overly sensitive and extra loving toward you. The problem is that the intimacy is not there, just what feels like a false shell of what used to be loving and caring. In other words, something is wrong and he is overcompensating. Why? It might be guilt and it also might be camouflage--covering up and deflecting suspicions. Either extreme is suspicious.

By the way, you can trust that gut feeling, the physical reaction to an intuitive sense of something wrong.

Although you can find many lists of danger signs that he is cheating, I want to focus on one aspect of the cheating. I want to focus on the early stages of infidelity because the illicit affair begins long before the two of them are in bed together.

An Affair of the Eyes

An affair is often first an affair of the eyes. A certain look signals to another that he or she is open to the next step in a relationship. As the two of them begin to talk, the eyes become a conduit for strong emotions that flow back and forth simply through the eyes. They think no one else can see this but it is usually very apparent to anyone watching. Let's call it an affair of the eyes.

Body Language is Also a Form of Communication

Next is a connecting through mirroring body language that includes leaning toward each other while they talk, smiles as bright as the sun and standing and sitting in identical postures as they come into sync in an intimacy in which they should not be engaging.

Casual Touching Can Be Very Intimate

Casual touching is next: a comforting pat, a playful hit on the shoulders and a warm arm across the shoulders. They think it all looks so innocent. It is not innocent and again, anyone watching can see what is happening.

Intimate Conversations

But the stage of the cheating I want to call attention to is the next stage which is an affair of intimate conversations. These begin in a way that seems innocent enough. But they are soon sharing intimate details about their lives growing up, their family members, favorite movies and songs and their hopes and dreams for the future. They talk a lot. They are really into the affair now - even if there has not been any sexual contact. Remember, you can have an affair even through the eyes!

They talk a lot because they are weaving a new future, a future for them that does not include you.

Because they talk a lot, you can catch them. You can catch him cheating on you and you don't need the TV show, "Cheaters," to do it. Since they talk a lot, his cell phone will contain a record of her phone number. Very few people go to the trouble to erase all of their missed calls, outgoing calls and incoming calls after each illicit phone conversation. But if you see that happening, that is pretty strong evidence in and of itself.

So, Is He Cheating?

So what you can do is find a way to jot down the phone numbers from his cell phone. First, eliminate all the numbers that you recognize as being innocent: his family, co-workers who you know are not a threat and his close male friends (unless you have concerns along that line).

Then, using a free cell phone lookup, you can type in the remaining numbers and the free lookup will tell you some preliminary information. That information may be enough to eliminate the caller. However, if you wish more detailed information, such as the following, it is available for a nominal fee:

• Owner name and address
• Household members
• People search results
• And more