One of the most important people in a woman's life is her father. When a little girl is born, her father already has a lot of influence with her. From the time she is old enough to sense his presence, she has already incorporated him into her thoughts and impressions. A little girl instinctively makes her father her first parental model.

A father instills values, trust and expectations in his daughter. All through her lifetime, she has many memories and images of him. Throughout her childhood, he is the indestructible tower of strength that she turns to for help when other kids picked on her because she is so small. In her teen years, he is her advisor and guardian when she becomes aware of the opposite sex and has to measure up to the scrutiny of her peers. During her adult years, he is her best friend. She turns to him for guidance in her marriage, with rearing her children, and for help in dealing with life situations.

A woman sees her father as a protector, director, guide and mentor. She considers him her source of security, and turns to him to fix things that go wrong in her life. A father is his daughter's hero. Fathers set the expectations that their daughters carry into romantic relationships with men, communication with other people, and attitudes about life. The masculine side of a woman's sexuality is developed by her father. She will often marry a man that parallels her father, and he usually sets the bar on how men behave toward her. Even when a father hands his role of protector, mentor and best friend over to his daughter's husband, he is still her role model.

How a woman feels about herself is largely based on what kind of relationship she has with her father. A woman judges herself by her father's input and support. If her father expresses disapproval, it affects many things, including her self-esteem and pride. His approval means more to her because it is expressed less often and in a different manner than the manner and frequency that a mother shows her approval. A father's confidence in his daughter instills in her confidence in her ability to survive on her own and make her own decisions.

If a woman has a positive and loving relationship with her father, losing him will be one of the hardest things that she will ever have to face. Losing her father through death, divorce, or emotional absence makes a woman feel abandoned. She might feel that she did something that caused him to leave or die. So many questions are left unanswered. For many women, anger takes over. They are angry at their fathers for leaving them. They blame him for things that go wrong in their lives. They don't deal with the feelings that his leaving caused them, and they end up being bitter people.

As a woman who was very close to my father, it was devastating to me when he passed away. My father was the very first king of my heart, and I turned to him for guidance, reassurance, advice, acceptance and approval. He set the standards that I still live by, and the expectations that I have for my own success. He built my confidence in myself by his unconditional love and support. He taught me things that I have not learned anywhere else, and he set ground rules that helped me make it through some harsh times. When he left my life, I felt like the best part of me was missing. It takes a woman a long time to come to terms with the loss of her father; for me it was fifteen years. In spite of his absence, my father's beliefs, values, standards, and love still live on through me, forever daddy's little girl.

© Copyright 2007 Patti McMann. All rights reserved.