If you go through a financial turmoil and challenges be assured that you are not alone. Millions of American families are in the same loophole. But let me be clear - what matters the most is not what happens. What you do about what happens really counts. I may sound out of track here, but believe me - I am right on the spot.

When you are about to miss a payment, even before this happens, immediately call your lender. This action will serve two purposes: a) you lender will know what to expect; and b) you will feel in some strange way in control of the happenings. Remember that the communication with your lender gives you many advantages. Make sure that during the call the bank representative takes notes and posts them on the account. I suggest you do the same - open a little notepad and keep track of the calls.

During the first three or even four months you are still in good standing. Do not panic, because if you do, I assure you, you will get more of what you panic about. This is a change time - use it to your advantage and learn. Here are the steps I suggest you take.

1. Communicate with your lender on a regular basis. Call them before they call you.
2. File for unemployment if laid off. Reorganize your spending habits.
3. Stop paying your credit cards. Never pay your credit cards if you are not able to pay your mortgage.
4. If you have two mortgages, consider this: either pay both or default on both. It does not make sense to be current on the second and default on the first.
5. Do not be ashamed to talk about your loss of income. Accept it as a challenge to be overcome.
6. Tell all of your friends and relatives. Share this at church and other community groups. The more people know about your problem the more chances you have to solve it.
7. Decide about the outcome. Do you plan to keep your house or sell it? My advice is to stay as long as you can there for free.
8. Never move out of your house because you missed payments. If a real estate agent "advices" you to vacate the house in order to have better chances to sell it, do not listen!
9. Consider the "short sale" option as a great tool that gives you a chance to stay in your home for free for many months.

There are many "helpers" out there, who will tell you that you do not know anything. You have to pay them to solve your problem. Do not let anybody take the power from you. The moment you believe that you can't you are done. I assure you that you are the best solution to yourself.