It doesn't matter that we all have a different idea of what Christmas really means.  The one thing that unites us all at Christmas is family.

Life has changed considerably over the past few decades and today it's perfectly normal to live far enough away from your family that you don't see them as often as you used to or would like to.  It's often at Christmas that families re-group and catch up, embracing the true spirit of Christmas.

We often hear friends complaining that they have to go and spend Christmas with their in-laws, something they really don't want to do.  However, Christmas is a time for putting differences aside and especially where kids are concerned, making the effort to spend a happy Christmas together with family.

The real difficulties that many people face at Christmas tend to be when both sets of in-laws expect them to be with them on Christmas day, especially when all the different parts of the family are scattered around the country.  It's quite normal in this scenario to spend the morning at home, then join one set of in-laws for lunch and the other for dinner.  This tends to keep everyone happy and this can be alternated every year.

Christmas Stress

From the above it seems that what we have to do at Christmas is keep other people happy, possibly at the detriment of our own happiness.  The difficulties in making everyone happy at Christmas, especially on Christmas Day, can lead many people to experience severe stress.

There are essentially two ways of dealing with this.

Firstly, you can just go along with whatever others are expecting of you.  You'll just need to then accept that that is what is happening this Christmas and so there is no point in getting stressed over it.

Or secondly, you can be the one who actually tells the other families what you, and your own immediate family, are going to do over the Christmas period.  By taking charge you can be in control and therefore you can deal with the stress by deciding what you will and won't do.

The Compromise

The important thing to remember at Christmas is that there will always be an element of compromise.  There is simply no way around it and you have to remember that it is impossible to please everyone all of the time.

Therefore, set the rules yourself, relax and enjoy this Christmas the way you should...happy with your partner and children.