Happiness and sadness, caring and trust are what love and friendship are made up of. They fill your heart with beautiful feeling for that someone special.

Love - the raison d'être (the reason for being) of this universe. It is the bond between all things. The secret of a happy home or couple is a relationship built on the foundation of love. A family where love abounds needs no third party. When the going gets tough the uniting force remains the power of the four letter word LOVE. Show me a happy and contented child and you could see the traits of a child raised in an environment where love abounds, it radiates and glow light the shining light in the mirror.

At a point in my life, I gave up on love, I thought it only existed in the dictionary but as God would have it, things took a dramatic turn for the better, I truly experienced genuine love and my life has been better for it.
How do you truly determine when you are in love from mere infatuation?

Is it just about the physical appearance of the material wealth?

I remember when I was young, I read so much of Mills and Boons and the 'happily after' endings that my fantasy about love and romance became very wild. Sound familiar right? An average teenager then would have read so many romantic novels that would leave you day dreaming about Mr. Right. You probably have watched the Romeo and Juliet movie, Titanic or even attended a wedding that makes you develop goose pimples and you are suddenly filled with dreams of your own day with Mr. Perfect. These all sound so familiar but it takes a journey to actually achieve this and you had better get it right.

Falling in love could be trickery; you could mistake infatuation for love. When a lady says 'I simply love that guy because he is tall, handsome and rich', to my mind, she already got it wrong. But give me a lady that says 'I really feel like having him around me all the time'. 'Anytime he is away, I feel a vacuum'. 'I really miss our communication; he is the only one I can discuss with'. 'He makes me feel like I just found my lost rib'.....You got my drift? This is something deeper than the face value or material things. This is real affection.

I never felt all this until I remarried. I could recollect a disagreement that ensued between my fiance (now my husband), I was totally upset and walked out on him because he failed to admit his mistake. I got home and I couldn't sleep, my heart was very heavy, I kept thinking about him. All I wanted was his apology and it wasn't forthcoming. I tried to forget about him but I couldn't, he simply won't bulge. The African male ego thing took control but I was determined to stick to my gut. Everybody has pride regardless of your sex, don't sell it cheaply. He later realized his mistake, called me up and then we resumed our affairs. You know what, he was troubled too! He said he couldn't get me out of his mind but had to maintain the male pride in him and was expecting a call from me. He had to give it up when it wasn't forthcoming and till date, we respect each other's feelings and try to resolve issues as they come without torturing our emotions.

My point here is that I began to wonder why he really affected me so much to the extent that my heart was going burst out of me out heaviness. I had never felt like that for any man even when I was much younger. I could call any man's bluff once the relationship is not going my way but not this time. Why? It must be genuine love or how else would you have termed it?

Today, six years into the relationship, the love has been waxing stronger. We are still the best of friends. Our communication level has grown very strong, we plan together and execute together. Even at times of disagreement, the existing bond between us helped to find a middle course via which the matter can be resolved.

The determination to find love at all cost after my first marriage broke up perhaps helped in my search when was ready to try again. I looked inward to determine what was missing in my first marriage that eventually led to our breakup and I realized that we were young when we started and we didn't truly know what makes a happy marriage hence my resolve to find love or remain a single parent for good. Fate has a way of compensating you if you work hard for it. I found true love and I have lived in it joyously.

Do you think you are too old to fall in love? Don't be too sure! Never say never! If it happened to me at forty, it sure can happen to you.

Simply uphold the following and you may be on the path to finding true love:

1. Don't give up on yourself. Keep the hope alive.
2. Strive to remain attractive because you may never know when the right man would come knocking.
3. Socialize, don't be a recluse. Join a social network.
4. Create your world of happiness, have fun. Remember, nobody can truly make you happy but YOU.
5. Be determined and remain focused.
6. Be hardworking, engage yourself, and task your brain. Remember, idleness is the devil's workshop
7. Prioritize you want/desire. Highlight the qualities you want from your partner and let it guide you in your search.
8. Be prayerful. Ask God for guidance and direction irrespective of your belief.
9. Finally, believe in yourself, be confident. If you can think it, you can do it.