No one prepares a mother sufficiently for the extreme exhaustion that a new baby brings if they do not sleep well. You have my empathy. I've been there! Research has determined that humans must sleep and, in fact, people can survive longer without food than without sleep. We must sleep in order to function and live. Falling asleep and waking up is largely determined by your circadian rhythm, a day-night cycle which develops around seven weeks of age. If this rhythm is not encouraged or is inhibited for some reason, it can take a lot longer to establish hence erratic sleeping patterns continue. Once your baby is about three weeks old, your aim is to be encouraging them with regular and balanced feed, play, sleep rhythms, where they start to settle themselves to sleep and sleep through at least one sleep cycle. This can prove difficult for some babies during their first four months for a number of reasons:
- Tired signs are ignored, resulting in overtired
- Getting up at the end of one sleep cycle, preventing a longer sleep
- No sleep cues or aids are used
- Over stimulation from extra visitors, noise, outings, fluorescent lighting and TV
- Hungry
- Overfed or fed too often
- Mother and baby emotional issues and mix; tensions mimicked
- Allergies and intolerances through breast milk or from infant formula
- Growth spurts not understood or managed correctly
- Lower bowel, abdominal, oesophageal pain or discomfort
- Illness
It helps to understand and allow your baby's getting to sleep process to progress. For a baby this takes about 10-20 minutes. It starts with showing tired signs then if all is well progresses to a vacant stare, drooping eyelids, and shut eyelids. At an early age babies are starting to learn consequences, love and security which lead to healthy attachments and relationships in the future. How your baby goes off to sleep is one of the first associations you are teaching them. They are learning what to expect when they wake, stir and need to go back off to sleep. Seek help or support early with sleep issues before your sleep deprivation becomes dangerous for you and those around you.
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