Have you ever been in a meeting or conversation with someone and you could tell that they weren't really focused on you? How did it make you feel? How did it affect your opinion of this person as a leader?
Being in the present moment, or "being present", is a skill that is critical for effective communication and should be in the toolbox of all effective leaders. If you need to improve your ability to be present in conversations, try out these top 7 keys to being present with other people:
- Focus on your breath. Be conscious of the pace and the sound of your breath. This in itself has an amazing capability of calming you down, slowing your breathing, clearing out the clutter in your mind, and focusing you on your immediate surroundings. Try this out especially in the seconds after you sit down and before a meeting starts.
- Focus on what's right in front of you. Focus directly on the person or group that you are speaking with. Don't let your eyes wander to the window or to people that are passing by.
- Turn off or block out distractions. Turn off your cellphone. If you are in your office, forward your phone and close your email. Close the door.
- Leave personal issues "outside the door". If you are going into a meeting, this is a great trick to quickly get present. Before you go through the door, think about all of the things that are racing through your mind, such as errands you need to do, an argument you just had, or another project you are working on. Pretend like these thoughts are tangible. Envision yourself placing these thoughts on the ground outside the door. Say to yourself, "I'm going to leave you [the thoughts] here. I'll pick you up when I get done with my meeting". Then go through the door with a clear mind and with your issues outside the door.
- Make eye contact. If you are in a meeting with a group of people, practice making eye contact with each person in the room multiple times, regardless of whether they are speaking. When someone speaks, ensure that you make eye contact and concentrate on what they are saying.
- Reframe what the person is saying. Reframing is when you restate what someone says from your perspective. This allows them to verify that you correctly heard them. You can use some of the following phrases to reframe: "What I hear you say is...." or "So let me see if I got this right....".
- Resist the urge to come up with an answer. Act like your mission is to collect information and digest it. This will prevent you from thinking about an answer when you should be listening to the speaker. Just listen.
About this Author
Caroline Smith helps executives with technical backgrounds in IT, engineering, and construction quickly get to the next level and be true leaders.
Would you like to receive a bi-weekly executive coaching tip that you can read in less than 5 minutes and apply immediately to improve your performance as a leader? Visit http://executivecoachcarolinesmith.com to find out more.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Caroline_L_Smith
