Love is one of the pillars of committed relationships, so it is sensible to ask from time to time if you truly love him. The question is more easily answered than you may have thought.

What most people believe is love; that fuzzy warm feeling in the pit of your stomach, is in reality feelings of tenderness. Feelings of tenderness come about when someone provides and cares for you. You can have feelings of tenderness for him and not truly love him.

Love is better defined by what we do, rather than how we feel. Love can be taught, learned, practiced, and measured. I define love as willing sacrifice for him. Simply put, if you love him, you happily sacrifice for him. If you apply this definition of love to your children, whom you love without a doubt, it will be easy to find instances of willing sacrifice on a daily basis.

The question do you love him, now becomes, what sacrifices do you willingly make for him? Here are a few things that don't count; cleaning the house, going to work, cooking meals, and caring for the children. You do these things for yourself and your children. Look for sacrifices that have taken special effort from you, and that have special meaning for him.

Doing something special for one of his family members, especially if you are not particularly close with them, qualifies as a sacrifice. Doing one of his chores, cleaning his car, being the one to swallow pride and end a fight, or pretending you are really into lovemaking when you really aren't; are examples of loving sacrifice. Many of the sacrifices you make are only known to you, such as rebuffing the handsome young co-worker who has his eye on you. The willing sacrifices of love do not require rewards, appreciation, or leave you with a feeling that you have given something up.

If you have been making meaningful willing sacrifices for your partner, you can be assured that you truly love him. If you haven't been making sacrifices, you may love him, but you haven't been practicing love. Since love can be taught and learned, you should begin the practice of love by looking for situations where you can sacrifice for him. In time, the willing sacrifices you make for him will prove that you truly love him.