Do You Ruminate Or Reappraise?

Okay, so these two guys - Bob and Jim - walk into a bar. (No, this isn't the front end of a dirty joke.) They grab a couple of empty stools at the counter and ask the bartender for two cold beers. Bob and Jim are old friends who haven't seen each other in a while. They planned to catch up on old times over a few cold ones with the Yankee game on in the background. Unfortunately, a few stools away at the end of the bar, they can't help but notice a customer who is speaking extraordinarily loudly; the man seems to be "holding court," spewing out emphatic editorial comments on everything from sports to lawn care with a self-assurance that insulates him from any concern about how dumb he sounds, or how disturbing he is to others in the bar.

Immediately, Bob and Jim - like most other patrons within ear shot of this man - have a similar initial reaction. They are both annoyed at having their private social time interrupted by this inconsiderate loud mouth. But from that initial moment on, Bob and Jim take very different emotional and cognitive pathways in their reactions to this situation. Bob shakes his head and wonders if the man has had a few too many. He quickly flashes back to a couple of guys he's known who also always needed to be the center of attention. He wonders what particular deficiency or personal misery this poor know-it-all was masking with all of this bluster and bravado. Bob scans the bar room and notices an empty table in the far corner; plenty of distance from old "Cliff Clavin" here, and not a bad angle on the big screen either.

For his part, Jim continued to get more and more annoyed at this loud fellow. He was locked in to every proclamation the man was making, getting increasingly irritated at each absurd statement. Jim kept wondering, who does this blow hard think he is? Does he really think anyone is buying his crap? I ought to tell him to shut the hell up. Even after settling in to their table by the big screen, Jim was still stewing at having his night interrupted, carrying on about the nerve of that guy. From a psychological perspective, Jim was "ruminating" on the incident; he was not letting it go. Bob, on the other hand, had psychologically "reappraised" the incident; he had long since moved on and was quickly ready to resume enjoying his evening.

To ruminate or reappraise, that is the question. Well actually, it's not much of a question. To me the answer seems quite obvious. The sooner we can shake off an unpleasant moment, the better off we'll be. Nevertheless, a team of researchers from Stanford University studied that very question and published their findings in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2008. In their study they asked participants to reflect back on a personal incident which made them angry, and then to either "ruminate" on the incident (i.e., persist in thinking about the incident in a consistent pattern), or "reappraise" the incident (i.e., re-characterize the incident in a way that sought to explain it, understand it, see it in a new light or even forgive it.) When all the physiological and psychological responses were measured and tabulated, the researchers concluded that reappraisal offered the far healthier outcomes. In contrast, the rumination response was associated with emotionally and physically deleterious effects, such as:

-Higher levels of negative emotions.
-Lingering duration of negative emotions.
-Less control over intrusive thoughts.
-Longer lasting depressive symptoms.
-Increased or maintained feelings of anger and aggression.
-Various negative biological and neurological reactions.

When participants reappraised the angry incident they experienced the exact opposite of these rumination effects. The science had therefore confirmed that each of us is capable of taking the exact same circumstance and thinking about it in two entirely different ways. And it showed that for our own good - for our own emotional and physical health - we are much better off reappraising rather than ruminating. The process of how we think about an event (i.e, how we shape our thoughts and form our judgments) has a huge impact on the emotional consequences for ourselves, and thus for the physical consequences as well. In its simplest terms, it's the difference between brushing something off and letting it eat away at us and ruin our night. It sounds simple, but do we have a choice?

Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers

If anyone is looking for advice on anger management or stress reduction they wouldn't have to look far. There are more self-help books on the subject, more magazine articles and more"guru" seminars than one could count. Amidst this vast sea of information, there was one publication that stood out to me. It's a booked titled, Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers, and it was written in 1994 by a Stanford University biologist named Robert M. Sapolsky (who was not involved in the other Stanford research I mentioned above, conducted some 12 years later).

As the book title suggests, Sapolsky used an interesting and amusing metaphor to describe the biological differences - and consequences - of how humans respond to stress. While the book is steeped in the science and biology of human stress, it's basic message is this: stress makes humans sick. Sapolsky uses the analogy of wild animals, such as Zebras, to show how and why animals do not acquire stress-related diseases such as ulcers, hypertension and brain disorders like humans do. Since most wild animals do not have a highly developed prefrontal cortex, their emotional responses are relatively limited; they pretty much only respond to acute physical crises. As an example, he describes how Zebras seem to live a pretty contented life, calmly grazing in the open plains or sipping water at the local watering hole. It's only when they are acutely threatened - like when a lion begins to attack - that they emotionally respond. They kick it in to "fight or flight" gear, and proceed to panic and run like hell. But when the threat is over - i.e., the lion brought down another zebra and not them - they immediately go back to calmly grazing, as if nothing ever happened. And therein lies the big difference between zebras and humans.

If we were "human zebras," our reactions would be much different. Because of the sophistication of our brains, we don't just live in the moment. We process deep psychological thoughts and judgments about every moment, and we then translate those thoughts into feelings. And that's where we get into trouble. The "human zebra" would not be able to go back to calmly grazing after a lion attack. The "human zebra" would be fraught with lingering fear, guilt and anxiety over the incident. Why did this have to happen to poor old Harry? He was a damn good zebra. Why didn't they take me instead? What happens when the lions come again? Who will care for my kids when I'm gone? I can't live under these conditions! I can't graze under these conditions! The "human zebras" can't easily let things go; we tend to ruminate.

How Do We Spell "Stress Relief?"

So the real question is, what do we do about it? Well, if there were one simple answer we probably wouldn't have thousands of books and articles doling out advice on the matter. We'd just have one. But as with most things, it's always helpful to look for common denominators. And in the case of stress reduction, anger management and emotional self control, there seems to be a strong common theme across all of the expert advice: catch it early, before it starts.

From Cognitive Behavioral Therapy used by psychologists, to advice given out by Executive Coaches for their clients with "poor people skills," the solution is always the same. The best way to avoid getting locked into an angry, irritated reaction is to know our own emotional weaknesses and tendencies, recognize the triggers and early warning signs of these reactions, and have a simple approach to avoiding them. One such approach is called reappraisal. It's extremely effective, and it's much better for our health. After all, we know there's always going to be another lion lurking in the tall grass and ready to pounce. But let's not worry ourselves sick over it - literally.