Accept your current situation and allow yourself to go through the feelings and emotions

Do you remember when you were a child and your parent would say to you “Now, come
on, don’t cry, it’s going to be ok”, or “Don’t be sad”, or “Don’t get angry”?
What did your parents say to you, in regards to expressing your emotions when you were a child?

Some of us were not taught to express our emotions, when all along, it is what makes us human.

Some of us don’t understand emotions or where they come from. When we’re sad, angry or any other uncomfortable emotion, some of us avoid them, or replace them with other emotions, which won’t allow us to go through the process to eventually transform into a new you.

Some people eat their worries away. Some drink or use drugs to avoid the unpleasant emotions and still feel the same way the next day. I am not saying cry for the next two weeks, or carry your anger with you. What I’m saying is to allow yourself to cry, to get angry or to express our emotions. It’s a very real and normal reaction to the presenting circumstances. It’s in the how we express our anger and in the how we re-channel it, that’s important.

When assessing your current situation, keep history in mind. I don’t have a history of violence nor have I witnessed violence as a child. I am usually in good spirits and easy to get along with. However, just like TNT when I was lit, I exploded.

When assessing your situation ask yourself some of these questions: Have I witnessed someone express emotions in a repetitive and consistent pattern? Do I have a history of the same repetitive and consistent behavior patterns? Your childhood experiences may influence your present day behavior and emotions.

Remember, you may be your parent’s child but you are not your parent. You are you, with a completely different set of rules, expectations and assumptions. You may have learned to be, to do, and to say from prior experience.

I remember a few years ago at the beginning of my ‘heightened awareness’ and ‘learning
phase’, I went through a hell of a grieving period. I didn’t realize then, that I was depressed. My work and personal life were affected and at the time, I was too proud to accept medication to help me go through the process. My beliefs were “ I can cure and help myself”. A lesson learned. Pride can hurt you and so can denial. (Some times, medication may be required to help you get passed a situation. Talk to your doctor if you feel that you need help. ) Truth is that, at that time, I had masked the feeling of extreme hurt with alcohol and drugs. Did it help? Yes, in the short term. In the long run, I still had to grieve and it took longer to get over it. On the bright side, the learning that occurred has affected me in a positive way.

Bottom line, cry if you feel a need. Yell if you have to. Don’t hurt yourself and any body else while you’re going through it. Don’t use drugs or alcohol to numb your pain or anger. It doesn’t work and you’re wasting precious time. Please note, as with anything else, if the outbursts or crying persists it’s best to get help be it professional or with a self-help group. It isn’t fun for you or for anyone to experience those types of extreme emotions. It’s just not healthy. There are many underlying causes and you may need to see a specialist.