"When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment defines you." - Kevin Costner (American actor - from the movie "Tin Cup")

There comes a time in almost everyone's life when the pressure of life's events push one into a corner where one either rises to the occasion or lets the occasion define them. When you allow circumstances to define you, you basically surrender who you are. You are not meant to live in fear. You are the hero of your journey. As the hero/heroine that doesn't mean you surrender when the going gets tough. Retreat for awhile, maybe yes.

It is not uncommon to try and figure out what to do next when faced with unexpected transitions that upset your normal way of life. You may spend sleepless nights, talk to friends looking for solutions, come up with numerous ideas which lead nowhere, and in the end still find yourself in a corner.

I have gone through my own personal dark night of the soul transitions where I struggled with issues involving relationships, financial crises, and cancer more than once. I look back at those defining times and wonder how in the world I got through them. I went within for answers. Each experience brought out more of my self-expression directed from my Higher Source.

Defining transitions are the greatest opportunities to live life doing what you are meant to do. Unfortunately for most of us, it takes a boulder to get our attention to move on and follow our destiny. The boulder usually is a loss of some kind or someone. Even though a relationship or event may not be a pleasant one, we know what to expect from it. What lies ahead during change is uncertain and scarier than the present experience. But when our thoughts are focusing on what's making us unhappy we actually attract more unhappiness. It is hard to believe that we would attract what we don't want, but our thoughts are energy in motion attracting more of the same.

What is also happening when circumstances go awry is a wakeup call to evolve as a stronger leader spiritually, emotionally and mindfully. Without evolving in these areas, external growth keeps repeating the same patterns over and over again until we get the message to seek within to get what we want. Did you ever notice when you keep doing all the right strategies to reach a certain goal, how you end up in the same place; maybe a little better, maybe a little worse? Or perhaps you succeeded in reaching your goal, but the celebration was short-lived and didn't bring the joy you expected. To lead from within is where you are meant to define yourself and not let circumstances define you.

Lead from your heart and soul. From that place you will attract more love and abundance. It will also diminish fear, anxiety and doubt. Leading from you true self is a powerful way to live.

"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power."-Lao Tzu - Ancient Chinese philosopher and reputed founder of Taoism

Tips to Define Your Leadership

• Pay attention to the boulders of your life. They are messages urging you move to your next experiential and spiritual level. You are meant to evolve. Nothing stays the same.
• You will know when you are in the corner and feeling the pressure. Stand up and lead from a stronger position of self-leadership. Listen to you inner guidance not your monkey mind.
• Who hasn't experienced some type of hardship and through it all came out stronger? If you are in a defining moment now, don't give up on yourself. You inner self holds the key to create a new vision whereas the mind reacts. Remember - Anything Is Possible!

"What does not destroy me, makes me stronger."--Friedrich Neitzsche, German philologist and philosopher