Most people that don't have diabetes are acquainted with someone that does. When somebody you know has a medical condition that must be managed, it is natural to want to be helpful. Sometimes information gets misconstrued, and people say what they think is correct when it actually isn't. This article addresses things that should never be said to a person with diabetes, and why those things are considered offensive.

1. "You are a diabetic" or "she is a diabetic." Referring to a person as a diabetic is offensive because it puts the disease before the person. This statement is incorrect. If a person has aids or cancer, would that person be referred to as an aid or a carcinoma? A person that has diabetes should be referred to as a person with diabetes. Calling someone a diabetic is labeling the person.

2. "I don't know how you do it; I could never live that way." It is very inappropriate to say those words because that statement is implying that death is a better choice than doing what is necessary to survive and have a healthy life. Insulin injections, oral medications, daily blood glucose readings, and diet and exercise are all a part of diabetes management. If a person is doing these things, it is not a choice, it is a necessity. She is doing what must be done to manage her diabetes.

3. "You can't have that." This is usually stated when goodies such as sweets are present. This is very incorrect because a person with diabetes can have anything she wants to have as long as she is following her treatment plan. Sweets and other treats are allowed.

4. "Should you be eating that?" A well meaning friend or relative often doesn't understand that anything is allowed as long as the person with diabetes is following the instructions of her doctor and dietitian. Since each body is different when it comes to what foods work and what foods to avoid, she knows what she can and cannot eat. It would be extremely rude to question what a person without diabetes is eating, so why should a person with diabetes be treated any differently?

5. "You need a scooter, wheelchair, or a walker." Depending on the severity of a person's diabetes and any complications that she might have, walking or standing for lengthy periods can be very difficult. A person that can stand and walk through difficulty without the use of medical equipment should be applauded. Stating those words to a person with diabetes will put her on the defensive because she is being disabled in other people's eyes when she can still be mobile and self-sufficient without any help. It might take her a little longer to walk, or she might have to sit down after five minutes of standing, but she can still do those things, and she should be encouraged to keep doing them independently.

6. "Your doctor is an idiot and isn't treating your diabetes correctly." Unless a member of a person's health care team makes a blatant mistake or makes a judgment that is harmful, it is never a good idea to argue with the person about the care that her health care team is providing to her. Even though other people might not agree with her treatment plan, it might be what is best for her.

7. "It could be worse, you could have cancer." This statement is extremely objectionable because it downgrades the person's disease and makes it sound like it is nothing compared to cancer. Diabetes is progressive, and its complications are sometimes fatal.

8. "You're a diabetic, you can't do that." This statement is especially insulting because not only does it put the disease first and labels the person, but it has such negative connotations. A person with diabetes can do anything she wants to do within her realm of drive, ability and desire.

People with diabetes should be treated with the same respect and dignity that you would like to be treated with. If you aren't sure if something is appropriate to say, don't say it. Silence is better than causing hurt feelings and resentment. Remember to apply the Golden Rule.

© Copyright 2007 Patti McMann. All rights reserved.