Denial Got You Down?

By Maryanne Pope

Change your thoughts and you change your world

Norman Vincent Peale

I recently attended a seminar by international speaker and trainer, Brian Willis of Winning Mind Training. The seminar was outstanding; applying what I learned is proving to be life-changing.

Head-in-Sand Syndrome Sweeping Nation

Brian's message focused on the importance of changing our thoughts, so that we can get our heads out of the sand and get ourselves back on track to living the lives we WANT - and are actively choosing - versus simply maintaining the status quo. And why do we tend to remain stuck on a life-path that is no longer working for us? Often because we've become a slave to our damn thoughts!

Brian's son, Jesse Willis, who also spoke at the seminar, focused his message on changing habits. For when we change what and how we think - and then tweak what we actually do, the effects can be staggering. Sounds obvious?

It is! Easy to do? Apparently not.

In T. Harv Ecker's book, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, the author suggests we create our reality through the "Process of Manifestation," where our programming (which is where our thoughts come from: our past conditioning) leads to our thoughts, which leads to our feelings, which leads to our actions, which leads to results.

So if the early parts of this equation - our programming or thoughts - are off-kilter, so too will our actions be and, obviously, the results of our actions.

What, exactly, is Head-in-Sand Syndrome?

I think a good definition is found in this quote by Henry Miller: "Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful and evil can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength." In other words, Head-in-Sand Syndrome is denial.

Five symptoms that indicate you may be suffering from Head-in-Sand Syndrome

• You hear yourself continuously talking about doing things supposedly important to you but never get around to actually doing them (technical term: Procrastination)

• You hear yourself telling whoever will listen (again) the many reasons why you aren't doing what you really want to be doing with your life (Severe Excuse-itis)

• You find yourself tackling the tasks that squeak the loudest but aren't necessarily the most important to get done now (Ability-to-Prioritize Deficiency)

• You catch yourself blaming anyone and anything (your boss, spouse, mother, the government, society, circumstances, etc) to explain why what could have/should have been is not (If-only Syndrome)

• The five people in your life you spend the most time with tend to be negative (Energy Vampires)

The greatest risk of Head-in-Sand Syndrome is living an unfilled life

Ouch! Here's a quick exercise: picture yourself at your own funeral...walk up to your open casket (or urn of ashes) and look in. Now that it's all over, ask yourself: did you accomplish what you wanted to?

Miracle cures found for Head-in-Sand Syndrome!

Okay, the cures themselves aren't really miraculous (they're SIMPLE but not easy) - but the effects are. Here are some tips to help remove thy head from the sand:

Commit to being better today than you were yesterday
Ask yourself 35 to 40 times a day: What's Important Now? (and be honest with the answer!) This will help you continually prioritize tasks
Our days are filled with dozens of choices, so it's easy to quickly get off track from doing what really is the most important
Shift victim-thinking (poor me) to victor-thinking (yay-me!)
Adopt a warrior spirit/winning mind attitude about your abilities
if you tell yourself you can achieve your goals - you will
if you tell yourself you can't, you won't
Take your head out of the sand - yes it's that easy!
Focus on the positive and what is working in your life/community/organization
Praise the good; fix the bad
Celebrate your successes
Develop or contribute to a cause beyond yourself
Create GOOD daily habits that get you moving in the direction you want to go...not just where the current of daily busyness takes you
Stop making excuses!
They only serve to create or reinforce barriers - real or perceived
Just say no to procrastination
Putting off till tomorrow what needs to be done today is robbing you of the present and the future
IMAGINE what you can do with your life or what your organization can achieve

* Sit back and dream about what excellence looks and feels like to you

* Ask yourself: What is the POSSIBILITY?

Be very careful of your environment

* Choose wisely who you spend the bulk of your time with

Negative people will rub their negativity off on you and sap your energy

Set goals and then break them down into manageable tasks with timelines

Embrace the suck!

* Horrible things happen to wonderful people...the key is to accept what is and then change what needs changing

GET OVER IT (whatever 'it' is)

* Build a bridge to get yourself/your organization from where you are to where you want to be

* Stop complaining about the same old things all the time

It may seem therapeutic to vent but there is a real danger in not dealing directly with the issue/s at hand

* Let go of the past...learn from it and move on

Warning: If one's head is in the sand, one's tail is exposed

A final word of caution on the perils of Head-in-Sand Syndrome: if one's melon is stuck in the sand, this tends to leave one's bottom rather exposed. As such, the greatest danger of ignoring the world around you - and the role you play in that world - is that, in the end, it only serves to leave you extremely vulnerable. I learned this the hard way when my husband, John, died in September 2000.

One day, I was my usual happy-go-lucky procrastinating self talking about my dream of becoming a writer, complaining about having to work at a clerical job instead of being able to write full-time - but rarely doing any actual writing. The next day I was holding John's hand as he succumbed to a brain injury. Two weeks later, I started to write my first book.

Trust me: that's a pretty nasty way to get one's head yanked out of the sand. Gently removing it yourself by taking time to figure out why you the think the way you do and then consciously changing your thoughts and daily habits is far wiser...and much more enjoyable. Ten years later, my book is published...but keeping writing near the top of my priority list is proving to be an ongoing challenge. So that's what I'm working on now.

Comfort kills

T. Harv Ecker, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

About this Author

Maryanne Pope is the CEO of Pink Gazelle Productions Inc. and the author of the creative non-fiction book, A Widow's Awakening. She is an award-winning playwright and the executive producer of the Put Yourself in Our Boots safety campaign as well as the documentary Whatever Floats Your Boat...Perspectives on Motherhood. Please visit http://www.pinkgazelle.com/.

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