The only thing we can absolutely count on when we are born is that some day we're going to die. Despite this universal truth, we seem to believe that by merely acknowledging that death is inevitable - much less preparing for it - we would in some way tempt the fates and the grim reaper would be unleashed in our direction. Unfortunately, putting our heads in the sand doesn't change reality. According to Kenneth Feinberg, the head of the Victims Compensation Fund for the 9/11 victims, only about 20% of those who died in the twin towers had wills. Clearly, failing to prepare for death is no lucky charm that keeps it at bay. Before you decide that I consider myself superior to the rest of you because of my willingness to face the prospect of death head on, I too used to live with my head in the sand. That all changed four years ago when I was told that I had a brain tumor and that surgery was unlikely to save my life.

I would be lying if I didn't admit to be a basket case for the first few days after getting the news. Then I awakened one morning and decided that, although I couldn't control having a brain tumor, I could control how I dealt with it. Throughout my life I have always coped with bad news by trying to find at least one positive aspect of that bad news, no matter how small. For example, when the company I had worked for for over ten years went out of business, I decided to be happy that I could stay in bed a bit longer each morning until I found a new job. I once again relied on this coping method after learning about the tumor so I made a list of the positive things about dying before turning 50:

• My husband and I don't have children so I won't have to worry about being a 90 year old widow who falls down and can't get up and is finally found dead and bloated, surrounded by a dozen cats;
• I won't have to worry about becoming a boring old lady who has to wonder each year which niece or nephew will take pity on me and invite me to share their holidays so I don't have to be at home alone watching It's a Wonderful Life for the 2,000th time on Christmas day;
• I will never have to speak to my mother-in-law again. Okay, I haven't spoken to her for many years now but a good thing is always worth repeating;
• I will never again have to experience the pain of losing a friend, family member or pet to death.

My list was a bit longer but you get the idea.

I have always been one of those people who is much more comfortable expressing my love and care for others through action rather than words so I decided that I would make my death as easy as possible on the friends and family members who have meant the most to me during my lifetime. Rather than tears and despair that would only serve to break the hearts of those I least wanted to hurt, I maintained a keen sense of humor and did my best to lift the spirits of those around me. Just as importantly, I put my estate in order so I wouldn't leave a mess behind for others to clean up. That means that I not only got a will, but I took the time to gather:

• all of my important paperwork including insurance policies, the name of the insurance agents and their contact information;
• a list of all the people I wanted to be notified when I died, including their contact information;
• a list of all my bills, loans and credit card accounts along with the account and telephone numbers;
• a list of all my bank and investment accounts, the account and telephone numbers;
• detailed burial and related instructions;
• a list of personal bequests and where they could find those items in my home;
• miscellaneous information and instructions that others would need to settle my affairs

As you have probably guessed by now, my doctors are pleasantly surprised that they underestimated their surgical skills as I am still alive and kicking over four years after the brain surgery. My dress rehearsal with death has left me thankful that I took the time to make comprehensive preparations. I now have the peace of mind knowing that, other than a bit of updating in future years as my life changes, I'll be ready when it really is my time and those I leave behind will know that I cared enough about them to make a very difficult time as easy as possible.