Many people get nervous when it comes to dating. There is so much drama. First of will he ask me out or will she say yes? Then will the first date go well? What will we talk about? Where should we go? Should we kiss or more at the end of the night? And on and on it goes.

Dating does not have to scramble your brain in this way. In fact, with some simple steps you can be completely calm and in control and be much better able to evaluate if this relationship is worth pursuing from almost day one.

The asking out part of this equation is the most difficult. There are no guarantees on either side. But once both parties have agreed to go out, the easy part begins, with just a bit of mental preparation.

Before the date begins, there are some things you can do to relax yourself and give yourself a bit more confidence. Here are a few must dos:

Time Management:

1) Have your clothes prepared ahead of time. That last minute scramble to decide what to wear only adds to the anxiety.

2) Make the time to fit in a nice long shower or bath. This will relax any tension that you have.

3) Decide ahead of time where you are going. If it turns into one of those verbal ping pong matches of " Where do you want to go?" then step up to the plate and make a decision. This will help with step one on this list because you will not have to worry about being over or under dressed.

Mental Preparation:

1) Most people are scared of lapses in the conversation. So come up with a list of possible topics and put it on an index card. Now I am not about to suggest pulling that card out at the dinner table. But what you can do is excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Take a quick look at the possible topics and go back and bring one up.

The bathroom excuse is good too if you feel yourself getting nervous. No one will ever tell you no. It is a free pass. Just do not over use it.

2) Before the date, take fifteen minutes to imagine it going exactly as you wish. Imagine it back words. It is the end of the evening and everything went well. What had to happen along the way for that to be true. Did the evening end with a kiss? Were you laughing and enjoying yourself? Was it easy to talk to this person? I know this may seem silly but if you mentally prepare yourself for a great evening you are much more likely to have one.

When you do just these simple steps you will be calm and confident during your date, and much more able to follow your gut instincts about how well you like this person. Most of us have an initial feeling about the people we date. Often we ignore our instincts because they are wrapped up in anxiety. If the date does not go well we make excuses. With my method, the date should go smoothly enough to know if you have enough in common to proceed or say thanks but no thanks.