Conflict and Our Reaction to It

When we deal with people sooner or later we will be faced with conflict which, as we know, is not inherently bad.

Why is conflict so difficult to manage well?

No two people view the world exactly the same way so disagreement is quite normal but when there is conflict, it means that there is strong disagreement between two or more individuals. Both parties want something different; if they wanted the same thing, then there would be no conflict.

The conflict is usually in relation to interests or ideas that are personally meaningful to either one or both of the parties involved. When strong feelings are involved, especially anger, some people react in a way that has been 'programmed' into them from birth. Some people grew up in an atmosphere that acknowledged the rightful place of anger as a means of expressing strong feelings and beliefs, whereas for others anger was seen as inherently destructive and consequently something to avoid at all costs.

How well do you understand your reaction to conflict?

You may know which category you fall into but if you want to explore this issue in more depth, give answers to the following questions.

Understanding yourself always helps more in understanding others.

1. How do you define conflict and what does the word "conflict" mean to you?
2. How do you generally approach or respond to conflict situations?
3. What methods do you use to manage or resolve conflict?
4. What are the approaches to dealing with conflict that you are MOST and LEAST comfortable with?
5. What would you define as a 'best case' solution to a conflict (e.g. parties agree to specific terms and conditions, parties agree to leave each other alone etc.)?
6. When you are assisting others who are in conflict, how would you describe your personal style?
7. What are some of your values which may show up when you intervene in a conflict situation?
8. What are some of your most useful qualities and skills for intervening in conflicts?

Conflict management may not be easy but it IS essential! There will always be disagreements and misunderstandings in any relationship. How you handle them can turn these situations from potentially negative ones to positive ones as much development and growth can be gained from a successfully resolved conflict situation.

TOP TIP

Remember that to become a good conflict manager requires practice, tact and understanding (of others, but also of yourself!)

About this Author

I now invite you to visit my website and download a copy of my white paper "Blended Learning - the Way Forward?" and receive a 2010 Survey of Blended Learning http://www.blendedlearningzone.com

Kate Cobb is Director of blended learning zone. She was commissioned to write "Blended Learning" for the CIPD (UK) L&D Journal in 2008 and is a published author of training books and manuals. She provides a range of services for HR and L&D managers in design and delivery, consultancy and strategic planning of blended learning solutions.

Kate has over 25 years experience as a management training consultant providing F2F training, executive coaching and instructional design services for a wide variety of clients in UK, Europe and the Middle East in the private, public and not-for-profit sectors.

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