Okay all you single guys out there. Listen up.

I know how hard it is finding that special someone. I was single for 46 years. I did it all; Mixers; speed dating; Internet matchmaking; social events; personal ads, dinners for six, singles bars. Then, nine years ago, after all my hard-fought efforts, I finally met my husband on a blind date - a fix up from a dear friend who had a particular knack for matchmaking. She met her own husband on-line.

Was I one of the lucky ones? You could say so. I had pretty much given up. I wore overalls on our first date - something my worried mother would have killed me for if she'd had any say. Fortunately, my husband's reaction was decidedly different. He took one look at me in the lobby of my apartment building as we said hello for the first time and later told me he was thinking, "Thank God, a normal person." I took one look at him, broad-shouldered, mustached, graying temples and well fitting, jeans and thought, "Thank God, a grownup."

However you choose to find your find, or catch your catch, that match won't catch if there's no spark to light it.

Looks aren't everything but...

Dating is like shopping. You don't bother to buy if you don't like what you see.

If you really want to be successful at it, defined however, you wish - a date for Saturday night, a chance to fall in love, a long-term relationship - you have to do more than just go through the motions.

This thought occurred to me recently when I was perusing an Internet matchmaking site for some market research I was doing on singles. (It happened to have been Match.com but it could have been any Internet dating site.)

As a professional organizer, many of my clients are single guys in their 30s and 40s who have decided after a long dry spell that they feel ready to get out there again. Some have shared with me that they want to invite their dates home but dread the thought because they look like something akin to the Delta Tau Chi fraternity in the movie Animal House. In other words, they need my help to turn their "man-caves" into "love-grottos."

Put  your best face forward

If you are single now, and thinking about signing up to use one of these sites, or already have, and entertain any chance of success, please, take a moment and read on. You'll thank me later. If you don't, you might as well throw that money out the window. That's because unless you understand how to put your best face forward, none of the other single people looking at you will ever know what a wonderful person you are; they'll just click "next."

I know marriage or monogamy is not for everyone. Even dinner and a movie can feel like a long-term commitment for some, but after looking at literally hundreds of photos of both men and women on these sites I was amazed to discover how few of them were actually good pictures. I wanted to ask these people, "What were you thinking?"

I mean really! In the digital age, how difficult is it to post a picture that's in focus? If it's such a hassle to find a good picture, what does that say about how much effort you're going to put into a relationship? Hey, I can tell you, after being married for three years and together for nine, it's not always going to be romantic strolls on the beach and eye gazing. Eventually the laundry has to get done and the dishes need to get put away.

So being the problem solver that I am, I decided that this problem needed my help too. First things first, get a good picture.

Your profile picture is your brand. In a nanosecond, it conveys who you are and how you want others to perceive you. If you want your ideal mate to stop and look, don't use a blurry snapshot from your recent Paintball game or a picture of yourself standing thirty feet away on a sailboat. Instead, share about those hobbies or interests in your written profile. It's not like when you were in junior high. You don't get extra credit just by showing up. It isn't however, rocket-science, either; you don't need a professional photographer to take a good picture.

Ask a friend, relative, neighbor or even your kid to take a half-dozen "head shots" of you. Then pick out your favorites and ask them to pick out their favorites. Whichever ones overlap, should be the one you use for your profile picture. If you have more than one in common, alternate them. It will serve as your own market research by showing you how many more people respond to one picture over another.

Make an Impression; Not a statement

Like it or not, first impressions count. Do you think your prospective mate will really be inclined to learn more about you from looking at your shirtless torso? Unless you look like Mr. or Ms. Universe, skip the half-nude shots. Also, look directly into the camera. Don't go for the 'artsy look' with your face in shadow like the Phantom of the Opera.

While most of the photos I spotted had similar drawbacks, I did notice some things particular to men and women. For one, what's with the sunglasses, guys? You are not one of the Blues Brothers and no one is confusing you with a famous rock star. We women are all about the eyes - blue, green, hazel, brown - not Ray-ban. Show those peepers. If you wear glasses, that's okay. Just make sure your eyes show through not the glare of a flashbulb.

Finally, guys, if you don't have a beard or mustache generally, then shave. The ruddy, masculine "just rolled out of bed" look takes effort. Don't take the picture if you really just rolled out of bed (or if you look like you did).

Girls, while your pictures for the most part are in focus, I have a couple of tips for you too starting with, get your hair out of your eyes! Moreover, I beg you; don't pose with your pets. Do you know what posing cheek-to-jowl with your pooch conveys to guys? It says, "I love my doggie more than I will ever love you." Instead, write about pooch in your profile. Do you think anybody wants to compete with a dog? It's bad enough to compete with your BFFs.

Here are a few other tips for putting your best face forward on the online dating circuit:

1. Open your eyes, and smile. If you look miserable or unhappy, that's probably what you'll attract.
2. If you're worried about your teeth, then go get them fixed, if you can afford to. S/he's going to see them eventually anyway.
3. If you're light-skinned, consider photographing yourself against a light-neutral background. If you are dark-skinned, use a dark-neutral background. Your skin tones will both show up better this way and you won't look like a ghost or a silhouette.
4. Take the time to use the "red eye" correction available on most photo editing applications and while you're at it, use the "eraser" to cover the blemish. Hey, not even fashion models are perfect every day.

Once you get the right picture, don't stop there. Be sure to have an intelligent, literate friend proofread your profile. Misspellings are a turnoff. This is not a time for texting. You want to put yourself in the most positive light possible to invite others to learn more about you. Also, stay away from sad stories, badmouthing previous lovers, or talking about your ailments.

One final thought, minimize the use of negative words or descriptions of yourself in your profile. For example, instead of writing, "I have no time for anything" or "I don't like eating out" better to say, "I'm active and keep busy with my hobbies," or "I enjoy my own cooking." That way instead of hearing "no" when you ask someone out on a date, you are more likely to hear "yes, I'd love to."

About the Author Lis Golden McKinley is the owner and CEO (Chief Executive Organizer) of Let's Make Room, a professional organizing company, based in Oakland, California, that helps overwhelmed singles, empty nesters and busy professionals organize their lives, not just their stuff. Ms. McKinley is an active member of the National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO) http://www.napo-sfba.org Ms. McKinley holds a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology and is a certified behavioral health specialist. Think you are reasonably organized already? Request a copy of our How Organized Are You? Questionnaire at info@letsmakeroom.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lis_Golden_McKinley