Often in a breakup of a relationship, one or the other of the couple feels they must get their ex back under any circumstance.  They do not look at the relationship objectively, and do not take the time after the breakup to determine if the good times outweighed the bad.  Often a breakup is for a good reason - there is no law saying a couple will not outgrow the other or that they find themselves in a situation that is intolerable.

Whether we like it or not, some relationships are not worth salvaging.  People generally come together - especially if young - by sexual attraction.  Remember, this is the first law of nature. For a while the sex is great, and then one or the other loses interest after the newness wears off.  They must then go into the mode of daily living together.  This is typically where things begin to go wrong.

Remember, too, that when you first begin to date someone, you are always on your best behavior.  You don't let raw emotions show through, you try to be gentle and kind and you make every attempt to do things together.  When the newness wears off, these things will begin to change.  The male will want to get away and go fishing with his buddies, and the female will want to crawl the mall with her girlfriends. This, too, is a natural part of the process.  It is also a point of contention many times in a new relationship.

We tend to not think of these scenarios when we get into a relationship with someone - we only see their beauty and attractiveness, and their bad habits are typically well hidden.  When these habit and idiosyncrasies come out, we must then look at the relationship and decide if it is worth it. At this point in a relationship, the male may become verbally - or even worse physically - abusive.  The female may become withdrawn, depressed and bitchy. This is not the ideal situation for a good relationship.

If breakup does occur, then it is wise to sit back when the anger cools down and examine these things objectively.  Making a list of good and bad things in the relationship may surprise you.  If you find the minus column much larger than the plus side, then think strongly about not pursuing mending the relationship. If, however, you find that the things that caused the breakup were mostly minor, or things that can be easily fixed, then perhaps you should pursue trying to save the relationship.

You cannot do this without expert advice. When a breakup happens, you need an impartial observer who can take a cool look at the relationship, and give you the answers you need.  Get the help you need today, and take the best possible steps to either end or reestablish the broken relationship.