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Anyone who has attempted to stop smoking with partial or no success knows about the Monkey on Your Back. The Monkey on Your Back is that mischievous voice that urges you to have a cigarette. If you have tried to quit, chances are that the Monkey on Your Back has made itself known at some time or another.
"You have already quit," says the Monkey in the sweetest voice, "so just one won't make a difference". Or "You're doing really well today, so you can stop again tomorrow". Or maybe your Monkey shows itself at social occasions. "It's a special occasion, it doesn't count", says that seductive voice. You can almost see him, sitting there, lulling you into a false sense of safety.
It feels so out of control to listen to the Monkey. So it is understandable that you would wish to silence it or get rid of it. But what if the Monkey was not an enemy? What if you can suspend your belief for a moment and consider this; what if the Monkey is a friend? What if it is trying to protect you? What if it was trying to help you in the only way it knows how? And if it is a friend instead of an enemy, what if we could negotiate with it?
This brings us to the point where we ask what the Monkey on Your Back is protecting you from. And you may well find it hard to think of an answer. But it is simpler than you think. I will outline two possible approaches.
One approach is to imagine your Monkey sitting in front of you. Maybe you can visualise it. Visualisation is not for everyone; so if you cannot visualise, simply get a pillow or cushion and put it on a chair in front of you. This represents your Monkey. Now talk to the Monkey. Tap on all the points you normally use as you say the following statements very slowly on each point:
"Even if it is hard for me to say this, I thank you for trying to protect me by asking me to smoke. I am willing to accept myself despite this difficulty. I am willing to accept you too. I thank you and ask you this question; what are you trying to protect me from?"
Then tap silently on all the points you normally use as you "hear" the answer back from the Monkey.
Another approach is to remember a time when you did quit smoking. Even if this was just for a few hours, most people would remember it. And ask yourself what your biggest negative emotion was without the cigarettes. This may have been irritability, inability to sleep, nervousness, overeating, nailbiting, or something like that. If there is no such memory because you have never tried to quit before, then just force yourself to quit for a day. Go cold turkey and write down every negative emotion that comes up. These emotions are what the Monkey on Your Back is protecting you from.
Now that we have the reasons for the Monkey's actions, we can release them. Then the Monkey can have a new job. Whenever you come up against these emotions again, it can help you to remember to tap them away. Then you will not need a cigarette again.
Let us say that the protection is against irritability. Find 5 events in your life when you felt angry or irritable. This can be from childhood or from recent times. The first five that come to mind are the right ones for now. Tap them all the way down to zero. This may take a few minutes, a few hours, or a few months. And that is OK.
And then the Monkey can take up a new job. It will help you release all the reasons why you smoke, one by one, till they are gone. And as each day goes by, if something irritates you or makes you nervous in any way, the Monkey will remind you to tap them away. Enjoy the peace and the freedom.
About this Author
© Suzanne Zacharia 2010. Complementary and alternative health education and empowerment is my passion. My name is Suzanne Zacharia and I am committed to empowering people to take control of their health and wellness. A virus caught along with 5 other students at university at the end of 1986, plus medical negligence, meant that I got smokers lung at a relatively young age. In desperation for help with my symptoms and quality of life, I turned to complementary therapy, and this is beyond a decade that I have outlived one doctor's prognosis. I am now a complementary therapist, author and trainer. My big passion is to to help others stop smoking, as in my http://www.stop-smoking-ebooks.com
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