A big part in writing better emails is to convey your message using an appropriate tone. This is especially important when you write emails to business clients where the tone of your message can make or break a deal. The tone reflects the spirit in which you relay your message - do you sound courteous, respectful or friendly?
Even when you write a complaint email or send a reply to someone, your message should be written in a way that doesn't sound rude or offensive. Messages that sound rude, tactless or offensive will not help you achieve your desired purpose. Just imagine an angry mother yelling at a child to clean up his room. An enlightened parent would know that using anger or frustration or the wrong choice of words would only breed rebellion in a child. This is the same with business email writing (or any form of writing for that matter) - it is important to choose the right words wisely if you want to persuade your readers to do exactly what you want.
Here are some expressions that use the wrong tone of voice and should be avoided in your email correspondences:
Instead of saying:
"Due to your failure in informing us about your late payment, we shall penalize you as per the agreement"
Say:
"We received a late payment from you, so unfortunately you must bear the cost of the agreed penalty amount"
Instead of saying:
"I want to complain about your poor service at one of your stores!"
Say:
"I was displeased/unhappy with the level of service I received at one of your stores."
Instead of saying:
"You should have read our terms and conditions before you bought our goods. We are not liable for the problem that occurred!"
Say:
"Our terms and conditions state that all goods sold are not refundable and we are sorry that we are unable to help you."
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