With Thanksgiving just around the corner, some of us may be having a hard time finding something for which  to be Thankful. Being in the midst of an acrimonious divorce makes it difficult to consider your blessings.

Sometimes eating alone, seeing that empty seat at the table, can make you really depressed. Just as going to bed each night and feeling like your bed has grown double sized over night brings feelings of dread. These feelings can overwhelm us and make us feel anything but thankful. So, we hang on to items and ideals that merely prolong the inevitable, if only to make us feel like there is still some sort of possibility that our marriage will last.

It is all too easy to allow the bad feelings and overwhelming emotions to take over your life during your divorce struggles. The thing is divorce does not have to be the end of the universe. It can be the start of a whole wide world of possibilities if approached correctly.

If you have been involved in an especially cantankerous divorce situation, try right now to find ways to compromise. Someone has to be first, why not you. We all want the other person to compromise, to be reasonable, to "just get along". But what about you? What can you do right now to make your divorce less acrimonious and more agreeable?

Try to put yourself in your spouse's shoes for just a moment.  Feel their fear, their concerns, and their needs and desires. See if you can't come to at least one compromise that won't kill you. Sometimes giving up something very important to you, can lead the other person to do the same. Maybe something you've been hanging on to isn't actually important, but you've been fighting to the death for it. Let it go now.

It is very important for the sake of your future, and if you have children, their future, that you and your spouse end the marriage without bloodshed, both coming out with some shred of dignity and ability to move on to a happier fuller life. Hanging on to old ideas and things with a death grip will not get you there.

Look at your children and be thankful that they are still on this earth breathing, instead of feeling sad that this year they are with their other parent. There is calmness to be had when you realize what is truly important. Happy, healthy children are more important than who they are spending the day with.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Give yourself and your spouse the gift of a civilized out of court divorce, and by Christmas you can all be well on your way to happier, more fulfilling lives.