Communicating effectively is a very important skill. We communicate every day whether we are talking to our friends, the dentist or the boss. How we communicate has a huge influence on how we interact and deal with other people.
If we want someone to do something for us we need to communicate how we want them to do it. In order for them to co-operate with us to and carry out our request without the use of force or aggression takes skill. A person who can get things done with the co-operation of other people is an effective and confident communicator.
Becoming an effective and assertive communicator is a skill that most people can learn with practice. To help you become one here are a few tips that you can practice with:
Tip 1
Effective communication is simple and direct. This means that you know what you want and you are confident that you are going to get it. You also know that to get what you want the other person needs to clearly understand what your request is about. Making several requests will confuse the other person as the brain can only handle one thing at a time. Therefore, an important rule is to keep it simple. This means ask for one thing at a time. Make it as easy as possible for the other person to understand what you want. To achieve this you must avoid communicating vague requests. Your request must be simple and specific. For example, if you are seeking to set up a meeting with a client then, give a good reason why and offer them a specific time, date and location. In this way the other person understands what is expected of them and they will be able to respond to you clearly and quickly.
Tip 2
In order to have other people help you need to communicate in a style that is not threatening or defensive. Many people fall in to this trap by making a request with 'you' statements. For example "I want you to book an appointment" or "I want you to write this report". When using you statements you are immediately making the person defensive because they come across as orders. Orders are fine in the military however, elsewhere they can be seen as threatening. It is more effective to frame your requests by using ' I' statements. For example, "I would appreciate your assistance in...." In this way people will be more co-operative and willing to help you.
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