Are Your Teens Out of Control Because Peer Pressure Made Them Do It?

"You really can't blame kids for getting into drugs..." my friend said. "Peer Pressure is just too much for them." Oh, no!, I thought. There's that word again.

What is this thing called Peer Pressure, anyway? It seems that this mysterious malady is responsible for the majority of anti-social and illegal acts we read about in our morning papers. The perpetrator involved is usually absolved, partially if not wholly, by convincing everyone that Peer Pressure made him do it.

What a brilliant scheme---and why didn't someone come up with it in my day?

Peer Pressure, where were you the time I put mud on Dean McFarland's tricycle seat? If I remember correctly, this deed was done at the suggestion of at least one of my peers; a boy who insinuated that those who didn't take part in the "dirty" deed would forever afterward be known as "chickens", a fate we evidently regarded as worse than death, because we quickly gathered 'round and joined in the slathering.

And what about the time Grandma almost disowned me for braiding her string mop into a hundred little pigtails while two of my sisters smothered snickers, and egged me on. Did you, Peer Pressure, get blamed? Not a chance. I suffered a tongue lashing I have not forgotten to this day! And even after I had grown children of my own, I could never look Grandma straight in the eye for fear she would bring up that awful deed, again.

And then there was the great Huckleberry Finn caper. With your help, Peer Pressure, I'm sure I could have avoided the humiliation of being publicly yanked off the raft my friends and I were sailing down the South Fork of the Willamette River. Lots of people were there that day, but not a sign of you, so I'm sure you'll forgive me for sometimes doubting your existence.

I'm inclined to believe that the real truth is, today's kids are much smarter than we, their predecessors. They invented the term, Peer Pressure, and have managed to convince not only their elders, but also themselves, that it, alone, is what makes them cheat on tests, drive under the influence of alcohol, lie, steal, take drugs, and do a lot of other things frowned upon by society. As a result, when they end up in trouble, they are merely tragic victims of that horrible ogre, Peer Pressure.

Times have really changed; the world has become much more compassionate than it was when I was a child. Would you believe it? In my day, they called these helpless victims, "juvenile delinquents!"

Seriously, it is difficult to raise kids today who don't occasionally do something against their (and our) better judgment just because everyone else is doing it, too, and they don't want to look like an oddball, or "chicken."

One of the best cures our family has found for peer pressure is to have our kids project a little peer pressure of their own. Bright colored T-Shirts, with the words, "Just Do What's Right!" across the front of them help state their position from the beginning and serve as a reminder for them to ask, when confronted with a questionable choice, "Is this really the right thing to do?"

Surprisingly, they receive very little heckling about the shirts. Instead, most of the kids think they are "Cool," and a few have even asked where they can get similar shirts. (Most malls have a kiosk where you can tell them what you want printed on a t-shirt and they will be happy to accommodate you--for a price, of course, but it is usually less than buying an already printed t-shirt with something else on it---something that you might not want your kids to wear, anyway.

Remind your kids that peer pressure is no excuse. They are smart kids and you expect them to think for themselves and come up with the right decisions just because they are right.

About this Author

Jeanne Gibson writes from her home in Springfield, OR on a variety of subjects including marriage, divorce, kids, cats, electric bikes, and working from home. If your teenager is starting to overstep the bounds you have set for him, check out her blogpost at: http://sowingseedsthatmatter.blogspot.com/2008/05/is-your-teenager-out-of-control.html

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