Looking for advice about marriage?

Of course you are, but guess what...you're very likely getting lots of bad advice. I know where you're looking for this advice, and I'll tell you in a minute how and why this is wrong.

I totally understand what you're going through because it wasn't long ago that I was going through it too. In fact I have about 7 years of bad marriage under my belt, but was lucky enough to get some great advice about marriage in order to be able to turn it around.

But let me tell you, it seemed like nothing was ever going to work for me. I couldn't find a way out no matter what I tried. Not out of the marriage, but out of the trouble with the marriage. Out of the fighting! Out of the constant stress and arguing.

Now like you I was doing something very wrong and in fact pretty stupid. Here's what I would do. I would get pissed off at my wife, and then go and call a bunch of my friends asking them what the heck I should do.

Of course as you can expect, and as you probably know first hand...that got me nowhere.

First of all most of my friends were single at the time. So what the heck did they know about marriage. Know what they told me. "Get out of it", "Dump her", "if you get out of it you can come here to the bar and hang out with us". Stupid advice that got me nowhere!

Actually the worst part about that is that I got not only terrible advice about marriage, but also my friends began to actually dislike my wife because of all the bad things I was telling them about her.

Let me ask you...do your friends now sort of hate your spouse because of all the bad things you've said about them? Do you find yourself actually having to defend your spouse to your friends because they have these thoughts.

That's exactly what happens. You see you don't mean to say those things but your mad, and you say a bunch of things that you don't want to say about your spouse. How can you blame your friends for ending up disliking your spouse? You made it happen.

Listen going around talking to people about your marriage problems is ridiculous and actually pretty stupid. I did it and I know first hand how stupid it was.

What you really need to do is keep your mouth shut, and find advice about marriage from people who really understand marriage. Advice from people who maybe have been there done that. People who are married, and have been married! Or maybe even someone who you don't know who actually has a record of effectively helping people.

Now that would be your best source of advice about marriage.