Lots has been written about various goal setting models like GROW, SMART, POWER and NLP's Well Formed Outcome Conditions. This article takes a simpler approach and suggests that the key to achieving your goals is simply to focus on what you want.
Sounds simple, doesn't it? The reality for most of us, though is that we don't focus; or, if we do, we focus on other people's goals, ambitions, desires for us. What 'they' think we 'should' do or what would be good for us.
And even if we focus on something that's personal about or for us as individuals, we sometimes get confused between wants and 'need' or 'ought' to's.
Or, (and those of you familiar with NLP will be familiar with this premise) we tend to focus on what we don't want and are nevertheless surprised when we fail to achieve what we want.
So, how to remedy this? Let's take it step by step.
Focus
First of all, focus. That doesn't mean 'think about'. Or add your goal to your 'wish' or 'to do' list. It means focusing your energy, attention and taking action. Otherwise it's a bit like going into a crowded attic to look for something specific that you know is up there but allowing yourself to become distracted by your partner's old photo albums, your children's baby clothes, your old love letters or whatever else is up there gathering dust and re- emerging hours later, only to remember that you haven't got what you went up there for in the first place!
On what YOU
Next, make sure it's about and for you. Think about why you're going to do this - does thinking about it bring a smile to your face? Does the very thought of doing it (as opposed to achieving it) give you a buzz? How sure are you that you really want it?
Want
Finally, focus on what you want.
Not on what you don't want. To understand why this important, try going to your local supermarket to do your weekly shop only this time take a list of what you don't want. How likely are you to arrive home with your weekly shopping completed to your satisfaction? I'd suggest it's not very likely at all. It's the same with other areas of our lives. If I ask you 'not to think of a yellow and brown spotted zebra' or 'please don't imagine a black and white striped giraffe' - your brain automatically imagines them - even though I've asked you not to! So, if you focus on what you don't want (and that might include focusing on 'not failing to achieve this goal') then that's where you end up putting your time, energy and attention with predictable results.
So, express your goal in the positive
- Don't want to feel tired all the time? Make your goal about wanting to have energy and a spring in your step
- Don't want to make a lousy presentation at your job interview? Make your goal about wanting to make a great presentation of which you can be justifiably proud
- Don't want to be skint when the bills drop through your letter box? Make your goal about managing money well or having sufficient for your needs.
- Etc. etc.
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About this Author
Helen A Carter is a NLP coach and hypnotherapist who works, as part of Pure Serendipity, with clients to help them achieve exceptional results. If you'd like help working out what you really want - or how best to achieve your goals - and would like to know more about how I can help, do let me know. http://www.pureserendipity.co.uk
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© Helen A Carter 2010 All rights reserved
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