When it comes to romantic expertise, most of us are very much like the weatherman. We are wrong more then half the time, but still consider ourselves competent. This is fine for the under 25 year old for whom a change of lovers is a fashion statement.

However, we mature lovers know that blind dates can be tragically messy time wasters. So now...cautious efficiency has to be our modus operandi. We must be determined to approach our love life with a task oriented mindset. We finally have our professional lives in order and must recognize that adolescent exuberance doesn't work in matters of romance.

Our quest for a truly compatible partner has to happen from the head down-not the crouch up. We must be focused. To be focused we must know what we want from the door. In love... failure to plan is planning to fail.

There is no shortage of advice columns and so called gurus who profess to have the magic formula for connubial bliss. However, even our gurus turn out to be bogus. Good ole boy Dr. Phil is a philandering player with a taste for sweet young things. Dr. Kenneth Clark is a tired stiff with the credibility of Gomer Pyle. Lately, even our evangelist seem to have exceptionally colorful personal lives. "Forgive me for I have sinned...again!

Then there is the Guru of Gurus- Oprah who after testing the waters with Stedman for over 20 years ...now resides with her best friend.

Mmm...ponder that.

She openly states marriage is not a option for her; although she says it's a fine choice for others.

Since none of us ever make it through the countless preachy self-help books;I am happy to share the concise quintessential lover's guide.

Motivation is not enough. We need new rules. We require a lover's handbook if you will, to help us navigate these murky waters.

So now...finally, 50 killer questions to qualify or dismiss your potential lover. Please-don't thank me, just send US currency- euros and yuans are fine too.

To further simplify matters, I have broken down these inquiries into 5 categories.

Yesss, now you can dramatically improve your chances for success in less then 30 minutes by contemplating my amazing insights. You don't have to say Amen!.. and I promise I don't own one white suit.

What I am sharing has been gleaned from years of therapeutic intervention and of course my personal trials and tribulations.

"Everybody plays the fool; no exception to the rule" is a fitting soundtrack for those of us who have been a bit unlucky in love. The idea is to take the luck factor out of our pursuit of romantic happiness.

I should add that I have spoken to many hungry hearts; who say they don't really need to get too deep or proactive to find their life partner. They say they will know their "soulmate'' by the glint in their eyes, the music in their voice, the glide of their stride, and so on. Some believe that God will simply deliver their mate. For these optimistic lazy lovers, all I can say is- say no to Prozac.

This quick guide is not for doe-eyed dreamers; but for those of us who have suffered the slings and arrows of cupid gone wild. We are well grounded in reality and know that there is no magic carpet ride to love.

5 Essential categories of Inquiry: Self awareness, Empathy, Mental stability, Financial stability, Overall Fitness

Self awareness:

1. How has your family life contributed to your views about relationships?
2. Who have been the central people in your life in terms of your spiritual/personal development?
3. How important is morality to you?
4. What is your source of moral/spiritual inspiration?
5. What are your relationship goals?
6. What are your top 5 deal breakers?
7. What have you learned from past relationships?-the good and the bad.
8. Do you seek a replacement for a lover you lost?
9. Is a relationship a merger or a takeover bid in your opinion?
10. Do you prefer to negotiate or manipulate when there is a lot at stake?

Empathy:

1. Are you generally attentive in matters of romance?
2. Do you tend to anticipate your lover's response in times of conflict?
3. Are you a patient engaged listener?
4. Are your partner's feelings/perspective important to you?
5. How important is it to you to win a lover's quarrel?
6. Do you accept the notion that we all have bad days and should occasionally be indulged?
7. Are you open to expanding your erotic palate?
8. Is your idea of romantic play carved in stone?
9. Do past disappointments make you somewhat guarded in terms of your ability to be openly loving?
10. Do you think sharing past emotional trauma is a good idea?

Mental stability:

1. Did you have a happy childhood?
2. Have you had a happy adulthood?
3. What are your biggest stressors?
4. How do you cope with stress?
5. Do you have any substance abuse history?
6. Do you have any gender issues that pertain to your sexuality?
7. Have you ever been clinically depressed?
8. Have you ever been incarcerated or convicted of a felony?
9. Are you happy with your achievements in life?
10. Do you tend to be physically abusive?

Financial stability:

1. What have you done to secure your financial future?
2. Do you think financial security is important?
3. Do you think that a couple should work together to achieve financial goals?
4. Do you feel questions about your financial status are overly intrusive?
5. Have you ever filed for bankruptcy or had a car repossessed?
6. Do you consider yourself to be financially stable?
7. Are you a gambler?
8. Do you own your own home?
9. Are you sophisticated in matters of finance?
10. What is your FICO score?

Overall fitness:

1. How important is physical fitness to you?
2. How often do you work out?
3. What is the nature of your workout?
4. Do you have any major health challenges such as diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure etc.?
5. Is healthy eating important to you?
6. How often do you eat fast food?
7. Do you struggle with weight/have a eating disorder?
8. Do you have any sexual dysfunctions?
9. Are you on any kind of medication?
10. What is your height and weight...really?

Now some of these questions really take the chutzpah of King Kong. But admit it, you really want to know this nitty gritty stuff before you seriously invest your time and effort. So now you can put this out there as a fun- entertaining exercise. We mature lovers hate wasting time..now don't we? Think of this handy quiz as a time saving checklist. Have fun and screen with care!