5 Big Barriers to Effective Communication

We all know that we have to communicate to build relationships. We watch business and personal relationships deteriorate, yet everyone believes that they are great communicators. It is not so. So many people are out of sync with each other and continue horrible communication patterns that make situations worse. Here are some of the most common issues that I see as a person with a 24-hour business and a whole lot of patience!

Not knowing who you are talking to: When someone calls a business they usually just get to the matters they are calling about and assume that they will be guided to the right person for the job. That is a reasonable assumption. There are, however, situations where the person who answers doesn't treat the caller with the respect that any customer or potential customer deserves. Assuming that you can tell anything about a person from their voice or the questions that ask is ridiculous. I tell anyone who answers our phones to treat everyone like a million dollar customer. Even if the caller is just practice, building the habit of being respectful, courteous, and helpful is priceless. Nobody wants to be treated like a "nobody" and if you think that anybody is a nobody, you probably shouldn't be in business.
Not knowing the situation: There is a concept called social competence that includes being able to enter a situation and read the dynamics. Being socially competent means that one can then enter the situation in an appropriate manner that allows the other people in the situation to accept them. Going to a business meeting means that you show up ready to handle the matters at hand, you have some background about what is likely to be discussed, and maybe a new idea or two. There is no way to explain away the missed opportunities that come from not being prepared for whatever opportunities may arise.
Using the wrong mode of communication: I'm a reader. I am also a writer. The world of email makes sense to me, but I refuse to handle any matter by text message. I like the convenience of text messages but have found that there are people who communicate that way almost exclusively. The fact that the text shows up on the phone confuses me too. You are on your phone pulling up the number for my phone, so why not call? To each his own, but when you are growing a business it is your business to get comfortable with many modes of communication and to ask which way a person prefers to be contacted. It is not a good idea to assume anything when it comes to sharing information.
Letting emotional issues get in the way: There is no way around conflict. It is going to happen simply because no two people are exactly alike. When a goal or outcome is seen from two perspectives the best thing to do is negotiate. If you ever want to see something end quickly, pick a side and don't move! It is admirable to stand your ground, but when you are unable to express why something is important or listen to another point of view you should really work alone. Even worse is losing your temper over a matter that simply requires a discussion. Nobody wants to deal with a crazy person. There are two things that you need to know to prevent this situation; 1) People will not always agree 2) People will not always agree with you.
Not listening: I find myself repeating the same phrases. Repetition happens because whatever I said the first time was not being received. Maybe there was a question with one answer and the question gets repeated so the answer gets repeated. Rephrasing the question does not change the answer. changing the subject does not change the answer. Sharing all of the reasons why you do not like the answer does not change the answer. Getting angry does not change the answer. However, there might be a different answer for a different question. If you want something to happen, its your job to be ready with the next suggestion or question.

You want a lot and you deserve to have it all. Please do not limit yourself by falling into these communication traps.

About this Author

Dr. LaMar is lead researcher and writer for Bon Vivant Research. You can participate in any of our surveys by going to http://www.BonVivantResearch.com

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