This last statement--you're noticing signs of cheating all the time--may actually say less about your lover than it does about you.  Read the following three signs, then consider if you might be taking your caution a little bit too seriously.

1.  Every call your spouse gets, seems like it must be a call from their illicit lover.  Or even every other call...yes, this may mean you're paranoid!

Realistically, your partner can't be getting calls from a lover all the time.  Unless you keep your partner in a cave, he or she is going to get phone calls from time to time.

And if something is going on at work or with your partner's family that he or she needs to be involved in after-hours, just take it for what it is and relax.

It's only when this kind of thing extends over time to happen on a regular basis, or at all hours, that you might want to consider that maybe it's more than just your paranoia.

2.  You start to worry if they are gone even ten minutes longer than you expected.  Ten minutes isn't long enough to have an illicit tryst.  Even half an hour usually isn't, when you consider how much sneaking around is involved!

So your partner takes a little extra time to buy groceries, pick up some movies, or get home from work.  Give them a break.  These things happen.

They DON'T happen every Wednesday for an hour at a time, however.  If your partner is consistently very late--especially on a regular schedule--then it may be time to start investigating a little.

3.  You drive by their work every day to make sure they're there.  This can be a legitimate way to check up on your significant other if you think they might be having an affair.  But if it's something you do once a day--or more--over an extended period of time, it's very likely you've let your paranoia run away with you.  Especially if they are always where they are supposed to be!

However, just like somebody once said, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."  These signs may mean you're paranoid.  But you may have reason to be.  There is no way to know, as long as you confine yourself to simply doing the above.

If after reading the above behaviors, you still suspect that there might be more to what you're feeling than simple paranoia, it's time to start looking for hard evidence in a systemized, effective fashion. 

There are tools like reverse phone directories and computer software to help you catch a cheating spouse.  But you won't be able to use them effectively if you go off half-cocked and haphazard about it.  If you really want to catch a cheating spouse, you need an effective, systematized plan.  And at no time do you need a plan to stick to, than when you are in emotional distress!