3 Principles in Solving Relationship Problems

The first principle you have to learn when solving relationship problems is you and your partner should never compete. Don't make a tally of wins and losses whenever you try to negotiate on something. A relationship is never about competition rather it's a whole-hearted compromise between two mature people. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right, the most important thing is trying to understand each other the best way you can. Your partner is not anywhere not perfect and so are you so you better learn how to adjust to avoid recurring issues. Compromise is not a sign of weakness. It's OK to let your partner come out on top sometimes. This may be a hard thing to do but if you truly care about the relationship, you would have to compromise when solving relationship problems.

The next principle in solving relationship problems is to give due respect to your partner. Avoid using the words "Never" and "Always". "You are never there for me". "You are always inconsiderate; you never care about my feelings". The words "never" and "always" prevent a reasonable discussion. It sounds like you are exaggerating and your partner will be customarily challenged to fight back in their defense. Expect an answer like "That's not true!" and then the argument will go on and on and on. So the next time you feel like saying "never" and "always", think twice before it escapes your mouth. When I say respect I also mean avoid name-calling and insulting your partner. Just because you are mad it doesn't give you the right to hit your partner below the belt. Everytime you call each other stupid or idiot, it somehow damages your relationship. Also, if you start calling each other names, you'll forget what the issue is all about.

The third principle you have to master when solving relationship problems is to learn how to give and take. I always say that a relationship is a two-way road and it's impossible for it to survive if only one person's needs are met. The general rule of thumb is to give what you are comfortable with and accept what your partner can give. Don't ask for more than what your partner can give. Give your time and exert some efforts in the relationship without expecting too much in return. When you do some nice things for your partner, think of it as rewarding them so you don't build resentments along the way.

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